The Tavern

Stuff that doesn't relate to the game itself
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1337
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Thu Nov 08, 2012 11:48 am

No. G is better. Either something amazing happens after you lick the toad on a stick, or nothing happens and you can still bludgeon yourself to death (with good reason now, may i add^^)

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toaster Assassin
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Thu Nov 08, 2012 3:20 pm

One vote for licking the toad-on-a-stick and one for attempting to bludgeon yourself to death (with the toad-on-a-stick)

A tie. Whatever the case may be, the crazy shoeless,nameless,wallet-less and drugged up man ("You"in the story) is most likely screwed.
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John
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Thu Nov 08, 2012 4:37 pm

We need a tie breaker.

Any takers?
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skynet464
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Fri Nov 09, 2012 12:39 am

G
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Santaissick
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Fri Nov 16, 2012 11:32 am

Dudes!

Our epic text game (and whole forum) has been raped by bot attack!!

I say "(J)"Hack every bot with the toad-on-a-stick. TO ARMS!
"What was once a pile of dirt, is now even greater pile of dirt, as I shoveled more dirt on it." - Kim Jong Un, 2013

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iSuck345
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Sat Nov 24, 2012 3:55 pm

We don't need a toad-on-a-stick, for we have my ROCKET LAUNCHER!!!
"Religion is regarded by the common people as true, by the wise as false, and by rulers as useful."
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iSuck345
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Sat Nov 24, 2012 3:56 pm

Also I say G. Nothing can happen or something cool, so we can still choose I any way, thanks for the idea 1337.
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John
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Sat Nov 24, 2012 6:12 pm

We be missing teh next iteration of our story.
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toaster Assassin
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Sun Nov 25, 2012 5:03 pm

Shocked, you slowly rise to your feet and watch as the flaming bridge collapses into the depths below. You turn towards the forest, knowing fully well the dangers you will have to face. As you walk towards the forest you suddenly stop. You take the toad-on-a-stick out of your inventory.Confused by the fact that you randomly pulled out the mighty T-O-A-S (Toad-on-a-stick), you attempt to put it back. However, something prevents you from doing so. Instead, you raise the mighty T-O-A-S to your face. You feel compelled to lick the T-O-A-S (as if commanded by a council of greater forces.) Knowing fully well of the hallucinations you will encounter, you lick the mighty T-O-A-S several times. Nothing happens. Relieved, you turn towards the random old man (with a glass eye) next to you and clink the glass of vodka in your hand with his. You notice that the mighty T-O-A-S has starting to chant, so to shut it up you place it in your inventory. You look around the great hall and take notice of the various old paintings lining the walls. The great hall itself is made of very old stone and the wooden table has a carving of a stork on it. Around the room you see several servants passing food to a vast crowd of goatee d guests .[Someone taps you on the back] you turn and a servant hands you a piece of burnt wood. Confused, you look back towards the one-eyed old man. [The old man starts to laugh in a loud malicious manner, that is both familiar and greatly annoying] "I told you that you cannot escape the shadow of the beast, now you will die!!" Startled, you look around. At this point you realise that you are not in a great hall,but instead you are hanging off the side of a cliff. (The same cliff where the bridge used to be) You grab the closest thing next to you, which happens to be a burnt piece of wood that is attached to a wooden post.[snap] the piece of wood breaks and you fall into the rushing water below. The rushing rapids shows no mercy. as your body is thrashed against the rocks,fallen trees and unfortunate woodland creatures. (Daybreak) You happen to find your way to shore. Tired, angry, and generally just pissed off at life, you retrieve the mighty T-O-A-S and begin to hit yourself in the face (In hopes that you will bludgeon yourself to death). As you are bashing yourself in the face, you draw the attention of a passing guard patrol. The Guards stop, determined to uphold peace and justice they decide to approach you. You are angry and there is toad poison all over your face. If that was not bad enough you seem be missing your shoes,wallet and smell of burnt wood and cheap alcohol. The guards approach you weapons drawn....

(A). You attack the guards with the battered Toad-on-a-stick.

(B). You keep hitting yourself with the toad on a stick.

(C).You jump into the river.

(D).You surrender.

(E). You lick the Toad-on-a-stick.

(F). You offer the toad-on-a-stick to the guards.

(G).You attempt to tie a guard to a stick (Hey, it worked for the toad).
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Santaissick
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Sun Nov 25, 2012 5:08 pm

"D" Let's see where they take me
"What was once a pile of dirt, is now even greater pile of dirt, as I shoveled more dirt on it." - Kim Jong Un, 2013

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1337
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Sun Nov 25, 2012 5:35 pm

toaster Assassin wrote:Nothing happens. Relieved, you turn towards the random old man (with a glass eye) next to you and clink the glass of vodka in your hand with his. You notice that the mighty T-O-A-S has starting to chant, so to shut it up you place it in your inventory.
This is the best part for me :lol:

I'd say quickload a save, but with the limited choice given to us, maybe : F (i know it's underhanded, but with a bit of luck, they are hungry and there's just enough poison left on the TOAS)

You should always proofread carefully to make sure you didn't any words out.

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iSuck345
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Location: Why wold you want to know where a 14-year old lives? O.O

Sun Nov 25, 2012 6:20 pm

D. The guards are surely better trained and have better equipment. Also I doubt that I can stick a stick up one of their a**es.
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Blxz
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Mon Nov 26, 2012 2:49 pm

Surely the great result last time means we need to go E again. Can't anyone else see the logic here?
p­ie

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iSuck345
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Location: Why wold you want to know where a 14-year old lives? O.O

Mon Nov 26, 2012 4:43 pm

Blxz wrote:Surely the great result last time means we need to go E again. Can't anyone else see the logic here?
I know a better way of going to the magical island: D!
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John
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Tue Nov 27, 2012 4:37 pm

I would say B.
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1337
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Tue Nov 27, 2012 10:41 pm

Blxz wrote:Surely the great result last time means we need to go E again. Can't anyone else see the logic here?
Aren't you worried about OD? Also last time we licked TOAS, that glass-eye-man came, i'm a bit wary of him :|

You should always proofread carefully to make sure you didn't any words out.

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toaster Assassin
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Wed Nov 28, 2012 3:35 pm

By popular vote the choice is D.
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toaster Assassin
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Wed Dec 05, 2012 3:15 pm

You surrender to the guards. While going through your possessions the guards discover the battered TOAS. Confused, they turn their gaze towards you and then back to your pack. The guards unfasten the toad from the stick and release it into the river. You are placed in shackles and escorted to the closest prison. All of your possession are removed and you are given a standard set of prison clothing. (i.e. cloth sandals, pants and a shirt.) Your cell is a basic prison cell, complete with two wooden benches and a hole in the corner of the room. The cell walls and floor are of brick and mortar construction and several clumps of hay are visible on the cold ground. One of the wooden beds are occupied by a bearded sleeping man with a red hat. Next to him is a rather small tin cage full of mice. You look at the hole in the ground. The hole is about 1 ft in diameter,however the stones around the hole seem loose. The hole emits a bad smell.

(A). You decide to wake the bearded man.
(B). You strangle the bearded man.
(C). You release the rats from the tin cage.
(D).You try to pry the loose stones from the ill smelling hole.
(E). You call the guards.
A voice in your computer's memory that refuses to go away. Now with 15% more (side notes!)

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1337
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Wed Dec 05, 2012 6:46 pm

Strangling a bearded person is a bad omen. The rats are probably for dinner. Never go towards the smelly hole.
That leaves us with either waking up the bearded man or calling the guards.

A

You should always proofread carefully to make sure you didn't any words out.

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iSuck345
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Location: Why wold you want to know where a 14-year old lives? O.O

Wed Dec 05, 2012 8:16 pm

A. If we end up raping him, let us make him look at us. Either that or he turns out to be a mage or an ex-rogue disguised.
"Religion is regarded by the common people as true, by the wise as false, and by rulers as useful."
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